“Just because I can’t sing, doesn’t mean I won’t.”


My Tiger Guy

My home office is our detached garage and even though it’s not insulated and cold as shit in the winter, it’s my domain. My woman-cave or whatever – basically no one else smokes but me so I smoke to myself while working. It’s a sad situation and you’d think by now I’d have the nuts to quit that filthy shit. but no.

One spring I heard little dude riding his bike on the driveway, singing the same thing over and over. Our two youngest are just like me in one little way: they break out into song and dance out of nowhere and whenever the urge is there.  I couldn’t make out the lyrics, so I got closer, but not too close. Little guy clams up in front of any audience. As I stood in the doorway, the verse made sense, and I recognized the song instantly.

In his tiny voice, I heard, “Whataya want from me? Whataya want from me?”

Adam Lambert’s lyrics filled my head, and I chuckled. Over and over and in his version, Jax sang the same line, “Whataya want from me?” Apparently, he didn’t know any other part of the song, and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how he knew it or why that song stuck out for him. It’s not that this song is inappropriate or anything, but it seemed a little too… “grown-up” for him. Usually, he’ll repeat what he’s heard on the radio or what’s on my phone, but I couldn’t remember the last time I listened to this song on the radio. It was a super-hot song a while back, but I hadn’t downloaded it to my phone yet.

CAUTION: Loves to Sing (Albeit Slightly Off-Key)

I happen to have an eclectic taste in music and yes; I play songs with cuss words and no, I don’t care if the kids hear. Thankfully that is one thing they haven’t picked up from me – yet. Now before you go all ape-shit on me and shame my parenting, I’ve talked to the kids about cussing, and I’ve explained that when they are of age, then by all means; have at it! In my house? I don’t think so. (Call me a hypocrite all you like. I call bullshit because my mom said I could cuss when I lived in my own house, making my own money with kids of my own! So there.)

#lovethiskidsohard

In a slightly different pitch than Mr. Lambert, Jax kept singing while he rode up and down the drive. It took everything I had not to join him, but I just let him keep on keepin’ on. After a while, though, I started to get sick of the whole “broken record” and Jax would not let go of that verse to save his life. The song was almost… well, now! Yep. Stuck in my head for the rest of the fucking day.

(Yeah, you know what I’m talking about – once it’s there, the entire day has its very own theme song. And if you know our house, you’ll know that there’s no stopping sporadic singing breaks throughout the day.)

Finally, I yelled, “JAX!!”

🙂 Hey, I’ll give you one whole quarter to guess what he yelled back.

“Whataya want from me?”

Touché, young grasshopper. Touché.

We had a good laugh after that, and I took a break to play some bball while we sang THE REST of the song. Good times with my Tiger Guy.

“Yeah, it’s plain to see

That baby you’re beautiful, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

Yeah, it’s me – I’m a freak, but thanks for lovin’ me

‘Cuz you’re doin’ it perfectly.”

-“What Do You Want From Me?” by Adam Lambert, 2009


“A bird does not sing because it has an answer.

It sings because it has a song.”

– Chinese proverb

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